I've Found My Golden Coin

It is very common to see coins or sometimes, notes, lying on the street. Some think that picking up money on the streets is not good, and some think that it brings the person good luck. Some think that it is too much a hassle to bend down to pick it up, and some think that every penny is worth it...even if it was only 1 pence.

I hardly ever bend down to pick up money found lying on the street. Don't ask me why. I really do not know....maybe I'm just trying to be too honest. However, having said that, I've found my golden coin a few days ago!

That evening, I was happily window shopping in Borders. I walked around shop looking at magazines, and was also actually trying to rest my feet, as they were very very painful because the heels of my shoes were killing me! Anyway, as I made my way out of the shop, I was something glittering on the floor. I looked towards that glitter, and hold and behold, I saw a big golden coin lying there.

Maybe it was Chinese New Year, or maybe the coin had some kind of magnetic pull, I instantly walked towards the coin and picked it up! Let me tell you, it is not any golden coin. It is pretty special! Here it is:

=D hehe....I know, I know, it is a fake chocolate gold coin.....and it is from Starbucks Coffee.....but what the heck! I found it on the 1st day of the OX year, and I will treasure it.

I found the whole thing pretty amusing! I mean, what a coincidence, dont ya think??

........ secretly, I hope it will bring me loads of luck and happiness this year! CHEERS! Hope everyone is enjoying CNY back home!

OXpicious Year!

Ahh...its that time of the year again!

Its Chinese New Year...and it is the year of the "Niu" or in english, the OX.

GONG XI FA CAI!

I really miss the atmosphere back home...all the "dong dong dong chiang" tunes, the chinese new year goodies (bak kua, love letters, yee sang, etc), the ang pows, the exciting card games....and of course, meeting up with friends and family.

Over here in UK, it is yet another day....no Bank Holiday...everyone goes to work as usual...unless you have chinese friends, most people do not know that it is the first day of CNY. Lucky for me, my annual leave starts today for 5 days. Nothing much planned. Just going to chill, complete some work-related stuff, shopping, eating, hanging out with friends.....=)

Yesterday, I had dim sum with kevin and sis for our reunion meal. We had initially planned to cook...but guess we were all abit too tired to do that. After that, we went on to watch Slumdog Millionaire.

Thumbs up x 2 for this movie...It was excellent...a very simple story...it just shows how somethings happen for a reason because it has been written for you. You can't really predict what happens...but a little luck does play a huge role. Highly recommended. I think the next movie I would like to catch is the "Chindi Chowk Goes to China."

Anyway, here's wishing everyone a happy chinese new year!! My cousin sent this to me:

BULL-eye your goals

BULL-doze the year with abundance of good fortunes, health and wealth!!

CHEERS!!!

The Sky is Crying For Them

What a week! Never have I been this emotionally disturbed after work as I have last week. One after another sad events seem to be happening to all my beloved patients.

1. A young 66 year old man, with multiple metastasis to liver/lungs, but unknown primary, died within 2 weeks of being diagnosed. His wife was distraught. To make matters worse, he died while she went away to have a cup of tea as she didn't want to face her husband in tears.

2. A lady, aged 70-ish, who was diagnosed with a right parietal infarct in her brain, which left her with mild residual weakness of left arm, presented with worsening left sided weakness, to the extent that she kind of neglected her left side and was stumbling. An urgent repeat CT showed multiple brain metastasis, again, the primary cancer is unknown. Neither did she nor I expected this...as I thought she merely had an extension of her stroke. She was very upset....and the fact that she has worked in a Hospice for over 20 years, made her aware of what she is going to face in the next few weeks to months or years! She was so emotionally unstable...her son also lost his ability to calm his mother down.

3. A 75 year old man, with a history of weight loss and epigastric pain, presented with general tiredness, confusion and severe dehydration. He looked really unwell. He was jaundiced, cachetic, and very confused. We wanted to arrange an urgent CT for him, but unfortunately his poor kidney function did not allow for it. So we opted for an abdominal ultrasound scan, which revealed a mass at the head of pancreas. He died on the 4th day of his hospital admission. It was an unpleasant scene, as his wife, is a young Asian lady, who did not really comprehend English... so making explanation difficult...it was awful that we couldn't find an interpreter. However, luckily her friends were able to translate some English words for her.

At the end of the week, I was an emotional wreck. I know that dying is part of life, but honestly, informing family members the bad news was difficult and watching them cry for their loved ones, was even worse! I felt my heart twisting in pain, and could feel my emotions building up.... but I had to remind myself to maintain composure.

The poor wife of one of the patients asked me, "Can he hear me??? Can he see me?? Is he going to die today??" A felt a huge lump building up in my throat....I mean how are you meant to be responding to such questions?

And I wonder why the new year has started so badly for them all. The sky is also crying for them....the silly weather has been windy and stormy.

I do not know whether doctors should or shouldn't be holding back their emotions in circumstances like these. I mean, at the end of the day, I am just another normal human being. I remember being told at medical school, that as a doctor, I should empathise...but should NEVER ever cry with the patients or family. In some ways I feel that, if I cry, then, I will not be able to provide good support for them and I might be deemed unprofessional??? But if I don't cry, does that mean I am emotion-less?? I don't know.

Difficult Patients

There are so many types of patients in the world. They can be pleasant and cooperative, demanding and manipulative, rude and aggressive, confused, psychotic, etc...

Patients that I have found particularly difficult to deal with are those who are demanding and manipulative, and those who are rude and aggressive. I mean, look, you are in the hospital because you're not feeling well, so just blooming do as you're told.

My recent weekend on -call was probably one of the least busy ones. However, the amount of difficult patients I have to deal with was really pushing me to my limits, and I could feel myself losing my patience. One of the example was this:

I was paged multiple times by fellow nurses in a particular ward about this gentleman, who claimed that he was not seen by a doctor for 4 days. He has threatened to take an irregular discharge, and he was being really rude to the nurses. He has also been self-medicating in the ward (which is not allowed in the hospital environment). I was told that he was seen by the junior house officer the day before, who tried to reassure him, but he has refused to listen to him. He had insisted of seeing a senior medical doctor. Therefore, I was called along.

When I arrived, he had all his bags packed (but was still in his sleeping robe!). I looked through the notes, and I found 2 entries (one by the consultant looking after him on Thursday and another by a senior doctor in the same team). The last entry was on Friday. Remember that it was the weekend...and in this hospital, no formal ward rounds take place...and only patients who are acutely unwell, would be reviewed. So, the whole crisis about he "was not seen" was a total farce.

I introduced myself and apologised for taking such a long time before I had the time to see him. He accepted my apology. BUT, then came verbal diarrhoea of what he was not happy about. He was unhappy about this medications. He demanded to have a few of his medications that were stopped because of his worsening kidney function. He was unhappy about the way the nurses are treating him. He was unhappy about the fact that he is a medical patient in a surgical ward. He was unhappy about why his consultant has not been to see him over the weekend...etc...the list went on and on. He said I should have got the consultant to review him.

I got pretty fed up, to be honest. Who are you to tell me what to do? You are a patient, and you should do as you're told. If your allegations were true, then I'm happy to accept your complaints...but the fact was, none of them were!

Anywho, I could only apologised, and explained why his medications were not given, and stressed to him that it is the weekend, and only very limited medical team are on site.... gosh...it took me like an hour just to keep him happy! I could have used my time to review other sicker patients.

I suspect what might happen at the end of day is, he may well file a complaint. I remembered reading through one of the complaint letters addressed to a particular consultant.

"I am happy and satisfied with my medical care. But I am outraged that I was given a soup spoon to eat my porridge, and the trousers that the nursing staff provided me with (as I did not have any of my own) did not fit. It was too big!"

I laughed when I read that....what kind of complaint is that?? What is the problem between using a normal spoon and a soup spoon to eat your porridge...it is just the same. And, I think he was lucky enough to be provided trousers to put on before discharge.

Patients....what can I say? I guess it makes my job colourful.

*my apologies in advance to any patients who got offended by reading this post.

Treasure Your Life!

I was slightly disheartened when I went to work this morning. One of my patients died in the early hours of the morning.

He wasn't just any patient. He was such a lovely man....and to make me feel even worse, it was his birthday yesterday! He had no family members, and lived alone. However, he had caring friends, who sent him a surprise birthday parcel to the hospital! aww...isn't that sweet? Unfortunately, he was so unwell yesterday to even realise that it was his birthday, and he was quite confused. He was struggling so hard to breathe, and I could just see him deteriorating right in front of my eyes. Neither of his friends live nearby. Sadly, there was no one there with him to accompany him during his last few hours of his life.....he died alone.

May he rest in peace.

urrgghh....doesn't that just depress you? I just feel utterly sorry, and I know, by now, having been in this job for more than 2 years, I should be used to this....but no.

It just made me treasure my life even more. I mean, would he ever thought that he would be spending the last moment of his life on his birthday....and in the hospital.....and alone?? No, of course not. You'll never know what is going to happen to you...and I think the phrase, "Live each day of your life to the fullest" is so so true.

Let me be honest here. I feel disgusted when I see many people drinking too much alcohol, taking too much drugs, and just simply not treasuring their lives at all! I mean, yes, you may have a social problem, but heck, there are many ways to go around it, and not drain yourselves under booze and illicit drugs.

Ah well, who am I to tell them what to do with their lives.

Maggi, My Saviour!

Call me pathetic or sad....but I really got excited when I saw this at Tesco 2 days ago:

hehe... I mean, Tesco? Selling Maggi Mee?? They were even selling them in packs of 5! It was about 1 pound for 4 little packs of Maggi...which is actually not bad, considering that the currency has dropped so much.

Maggi is indeed my saviour, especially on days when I don't know what to cook, days when I finish work late and am absolutely starving, the cold, freezing, rainy days (like now)....etc.. honestly, Maggi is simply The Best! And it takes less than 5 minutes to cook!

I was just back in Malaysia 3 months ago. And I don't think they were selling this particular flavour back home.

aahhhh...yummy... maybe I shall eat Maggi later when I get back from work. =)

Can I have some spider, please?

Yes, I would like some spider, please??

Have you not heard of Spider? Ah man, you must be well out of date! Spider is the coolest thing, at least thats what I think anyway, which my friends and I created recently! No, it's not that insect, you call a spider, you numpty!

Spider = Spices + cider

haha.

We came across ready made spice packs in Sainsbury recently. It was THE perfect pack to make mulled spiced cider....instead of the usual mulled wine. It was dead easy. Just pour about 1 L of cider and add in the spices.....I threw in a couple more dashes of cinnamon powder and also, freshly grated nutmeg. Remember to serve it with freshly chopped apples.

It was tasty! The spices smelt great, and gave the cider an excellent taste. Both my housemate and I toasted to the New Year with some spider. It is even tastier in this below Zero degrees temperature.

Do try it! =)

Welcome 2009!

I honestly can't believe that another year has gone by!

2008 has been a "not bad" year. A lot of new experiences and adventures!

Let me take a look back:

• New job, with heavier responsibilities. So heavy that I felt rather intimidated by it when I first started the job. I am a little better now, but still approach my on-calls with butterflies in my stomach.
• I did some wall climbing at Edinburgh...which was brilliant...unfortunately, I have never been back because I do not have a climbing partner.
• I am certainly ALOT fitter now....I can run 5k in less than 30 minutes. =)
• I have been travelling!! I visited a few places this year....such as, Amsterdam, Isle of Skye, Gloucester, and Poland.
• Meet new friends both at work and socially. They are all nice people.
• I have been socialising more in 2008. I have been out to a few night outs...and xmas parties, which I have never really done previously.
• Oh...yes, I have also popped plenty of xmas crackers this year! hehe.
• I took over ownership of a black Ipod nano from my beloved brother. =P
• I am officially a gig-fanatic....thanks to Kev! haha. Yes, let me see, I have seen Duffy (which started it all), Radiohead, Oasis, Kings of Leon, The Ting Tings, Bon Jovi....and will be at Take That's Gig in June 2009! woo hoo...can't wait.
• I have matured more as a person. I began to realise the reality of being a doctor....the fact that I have to make important decisions with regards to treatment, I have to break bad news to them, and I have to watch them die in front of my eyes...for me, these are not easy to face. Every patient is different, everyone will respond differently to treatment, every patient is a new challenge.
• Even working with different bosses and nurses....they are a huge challenge. Patience is definitely a virtue. All the abuse I get from the nurses about how irrelevant they think my actions were, all the constant unnecessary remarks from the bosses...man, it's only now, that I began to realise that working is not as easy as I thought it was....
• and how could I forget, I met a special someone, called, Kevin...who is the most artistic person I have ever met. He introduced me to the art world, music, photography.... Who would have thought I would spend my weekend listening to a famous artist talking about his art work? hehe..yes... new experiences. Adam Neate, Banksy, Damien Hurst....never have I imagined that I would have a little knowledge about their famous works.

There are so many other things... all good memories, and some bad.

Hope 2009 will be more challenging and exciting for me. I have made no resolutions this year. My only wish for everyone is good health and good luck!

CHEERS TO 2009!!! =)

and of course, to my beloved Kevin, thank you for listening to all my rants....and thank you for being who you are.

ps...note the new look to my blog...and a new blog title too! =) Its a new year, Its a brand new start!