You know, at the end of 7 night shifts, all you want is a nice little ending to it. I mean busy is fine... but I do not like it to end horribly.
Guess this will never happen. So far, all my night shifts this year have ended horribly. But nothing has prepared for what happened yesterday.
I was extremely upset...was at the verge of crying, but I tried to keep my cool.
I have been looking after a very sick patient in the HDU overnight. He was such a lovely man. Although he was rather unstable, he managed to survive the night. But just before my shift ended, his condition deteriorated further. I was there to review him. I think, or at least, I hope, I have done what I could have done in order to prevent a cardiac arrest. However, he arrested.
At the end of CPR, we had to stop because he was not going to survive. I felt very very upset. Think my colleague could sensed it...and kept asking if I was alright.
To be honest, I am ok with deaths. But somehow, this was different. You know, its like you have put in so much effort to save him, and bonded very well with this patient. It was heart wrenching to see someone die. I know we should not be too emotionally involved with patients...but, doctors are human too.
oh well.
2 comments:
Heys, I hope you're feeling better already. *hugs*
Totally understand how you feel coz I've had to go through something similiar. Heartwrenching, upsetting :(.
But you know what, it's this emotions that makes us humane. It makes us better doctors.
Take care.
*hugs*
you're right ade.
i am feeling alot better, after all the consoling i got from my senior. thanks.
Post a Comment