Do You Really?

I struggled to keep a straight face yesterday when I spoke to a man in his 30s.

He said that he has been feelling "really really low" and "I don't know what is wrang (wrong) with me."

He has been drinking alcohol excessively since he was 15. He has some problems at home, in which he described that his younger brother will be abusive to him when he is drunk. He is not working and lives at home with his mother. He also admitted to abusing cocaine on a regular basis. He felt very low a few days ago, and started to self harm.

He said, "I tried to kill myself."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, I scratched my arms with a dart." (and subsequently showed me the scratch marks on his left arm)

"Oh right. What else did you do?" I asked.

"Oh...I tried to cut my neck too. I used a cork to cut my neck."

"A cork??"

"Yeah, a cork, because that was the sharpest thing I could find," he replied.

At this time, I really tried hard to stop smiling or giggling. "Be professional," I told myself.

But to be honest, if you really wanted to kill yourself, would you actually use a cork to do it? Common sense will tell you that it won't be able to cut much. You'll not die from using a cork.

On top of that, he admitted to "popping a few tablets" in an attempt to commit suicide. He could not remember the name of the tablets and added that he took about 4 to 5 white tablets. He said, "I do not know why nothing happened."

Duh! 4 -5 tablets is next to nothing, if you are trying to kill yourself! I agree that these tablets could be anything, but if you seriously wanted to end your life, you would have taken 20 minimum!

During the conversation, he said, "You have to keep me here. If you don't, I know for a fact that I will do it. I will kill my life. I don't know if I will see yous tomorrow."

I then told him that, "Staying as an inpatient would not be beneficial as his alcohol dependency can be sorted out on an outpatient basis. I think it is difficult to tell whether or not the alcohol is making you depressed, therefore, we would prefer to detox you first for at least a few months. And if you still feel low, then we will be able to address it."

All of a sudden, he doesn't want to kill himself anymore. He said, "Right ok."

He is just one of those people who does not want to take responsibility for his alcohol problems. But I found this conversation extremely amusing.

Do you really want to kill yourself?? Yeah right. (I know I am being very sarcastic here...I blame it on my job! :P)