Two Deaths in A Night

Yesterday night was an awkward day for me. When I first arrived for work, there was an elderly lady whose condition was deteriorating. I started to panic. At that point, the patient was for resuscitation. I was worried that I would be called in the event of a cardiac arrest, which will be my first real life experience as a newly grad doc....quite scary to be honest, regardless of how many times I have gone through the immediate life support algorithm during exams. However, a decision was made not to resuscitate her later on.

The lady finally did not make it till the next morning and passed away peacefully. It was such a sad occasion, as she was surrounded by a big group of family members, consisting of children and grandchildren. Everyone was in tears. I felt so sorry for them because the death was really unexpected. I was asked to certify her death.

Earlier on, before this incident, another man died as well. I was also asked to certify his death.

Approaching a dead person was quite awkward. I know what are the steps required to pronounce the person's death. But when faced with the situation I was actually rather nervous. It was really weird listening to a dead person's heart and chest. It was not totally silent. I could still hear some funny gurgling sounds. The person was also very cold to touch. And actually, while examining the patient, I was thinking, what if this person is not actually dead yet?? Would his spirit be agitated while I examine him/her?? It was really awkward. I was not really invovled in the care of these two deceased people. So I was not really upset about it.

Two deaths in a day's work....quite a sad day for those families. My condolences to them. As for me, I think I would be more comfortable touching the dead after today. Off to bed now.