Please, Just Listen to Me....for once....

It was a good day at work. I had my ward round finished by 12 pm. I made all my referrals, and wrote my letters. I managed to sit down for lunch! And I spent the afternoon trying to catch up with a few patients' family members.

Pretty chillaxing, isnt?

Until...I met the niece of one of my patients.

Boy, can she talk, and moan, and groan!

She kept yakking non stop....and she just didn't seem to get what I was trying to get across to her.

Her uncle was actually just discharged from the hospital one week ago. He was admitted because an irregular heart rhythm. Unfortunately, he was readmitted yesterday. This was, it was because his blood sugar level was too high. We screened him for any source of infection, and he was clear. So, it was felt that his high sugar level was purely because he needed an increased dose of insulin. There was no immediate issues with his heart. He was reviewed today, and his blood sugar levels were alot better! And, both the consultant and I discharged him.

The niece was an unhappy lady when she found out about this. She was dissatisfied with his SHORT hospital admission. She was unhappy that "nothing" was done for him.

Now, who in the world would be unhappy over a SHORT hospital admission??? Isn't good to discharge patient as soon as we can?? Why keep a patient in the hospital longer than they should?? And, what is this whole issue about us doing "nothing" for him. He was investigated for any infeciton, we increased his insulin....and you claimed that we did nothing??! Gimme a break!

Then, she asked me this question, "His blood sugar levels have been ok most of the time. Why suddenly it became erratic?? Why did he think he had a hypo, when his meter showed that his BM was high?? It must be his heart that is causing this."

I was like....whoooaaa.....hang on, hang on, too many questions at a time. The moment I tried to explain my thoughts about his problem...she just cut me short and was not listening. At the end, she became frustrated and just stormed out of the room. I gave my explanation as best as I could....I explained to her that his high sugar level is likely because his body is so used to his usual insulin, and therefore, needed more. A high sugar level can you feel quite unwell, and his heart has got nothing to his high BM.

It was such an exhausting conversation. I was trying to reassure her that nothing sinister was going on behind her uncle's back, and we can not guarantee whether or not he will have another episode of hyperglycaemia. I mean, how is that possible? How could you tell the patient or family member that, "yeap, I am 100 % sure that he will never have a hypo or hyperglycaemia again!"

Anyway, I just wished she kept her ears open and listened to what I have explained to her, rather than just storming out of the room. OR, maybe I was simply rubbish at giving her the explanation?

A Waste of Energy

Anger & bitterness eat away at your energy.
It actually takes alot of energy to hate someone.
You're punishing yourself.
If you hold a grudge, if you're walking around hating somebody & seeking revenge on someone, it eats you up.
Having the revenge might give you a split second of some kind of twisted satisfaction, but it won't last.


I came across the above short statement recently, and found it really true. There are many a times in life, where we feel so angry. Angry about something, angry about a person, angry about your own self. However, anger does not take you anywhere. Learning to forgive is a vital step towards moving forward.

Disappointed

I really wanna shoot myself.


I so really wanna hide somewhere in shame.

I dunno why, but I always seem to disappoint myself at times I needed to do well.

Urggh....why oh why???


SIIIGGGHHHH


All of you who are cursing and swearing and feeling so nervous before you attend a job interview....don't worry, I'm also a member of the club. I think the general public has this preconception that doctors will always get a job, no matter where they go. I shall politely ask you to think again. This is not the case in this country. We have to fight for limited training jobs, and attend painstaking interviews, which also depends on whether you were shortlisted.


How do we get shortlisted? Well, if you can fill in your form properly, ie, show that you're enthusiastic...then, who knows, you might be the lucky one, invited for the job interview.


I know I have chosen this pathway myself. But somehow, I feel that others seem to do so well under pressure...whereas I just seem to crumble.


I attended a job interview recently. I did not do well at all! There were 3 different stations. One was on my portfolio, the second one was about my commitment and the third one was a clinical scenario station. I was not too bad in the portfolio station, but the other two.....sigh....was where I fail to live up to my own expectations.


I was blown away by a few "funny" questions, such as, "how will you be different when you are a registrar?" or "what would you have done, if you were not a doctor?"


I found these questions funny....I know they don't sound hard, but somehow, finding a way to answer them seem difficult, at least for me, anyway. Because you have to relate them to your current situation or make it sound positive. Why are they asking me about being a registrar, when I'm not even started in the training programme, which will take me 2 years before I become a registrar?? All I know is, when you're a reg, you have more responsibility, and more junior colleagues working under you. And if I were not a doctor, I would do actuarial science. How I can relate that to medicine? I dunno.

Then, in the 3rd station, I was utterly disappointed with myself. It was a simple case of jaundice....and yet, I forgot to say that I would request a coagulation screen as part of the investigation!!! And, oh, I could not remember the cause of pre-hepatic jaundice....

I was like....HELLO??? What were you thinking, saw ling??!!! Alcoholic hepatitis is like your bread and butter!!! You deal with such cases almost every day....and yet, you forgot to mention the most important blood test!!!!! The moment I stepped out of the interview room, suddenly an influx of information entered my brain. Of course, the answer to the latter question was..... DUH!!! haemolytic anaemia. My memory failed me....my nerves got the better of me.


Anyway, I could go on and on to moan about how badly I did. I had only one chance...and I have failed myself miserably. I know it is all over now....but I can't help feeling this way.

Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

"Oh the weather outside is frightful

But the fire is so delightful

And since we've no place to go

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!"

yeap, the snow is here, finally! In some ways, I guess I'm lucky. The snow is not too bad in Glasgow. But certainly, places down south were hit by the weather badly.....to the extent that public transport ceased working, schools closed, and people took time off as they couldn't get to work!

This is my 3rd year in Glasgow. I can happily say that this is the first proper winter for Glasgow! haha. The previous winters were extremely rainy. At least it has been snowing intermittently over the past week, and temperature dipping below 0. It was -5 last night.

Anyway, I love the sight of white snow. I love the sight of snow covering everything on the ground....making everything look so pure, and clean! But this wouldn't last long, as the snow will melt soon, and people will start walking on the snow. The sight would be horrible. So that's why I decided to capture a few shots of the snow from my room....here they are.

The snow covering the common compound outside.

Cars covered with snow too!

Great Girly Weekend!

To top off my annual leave last week, my gal pals and I travelled to Dublin for a really short weekend break! woohoo!

Most of my weekends here are pretty unexciting. I would normally just hang out with a few friends and Kev. We would spend time savouring different food, shopping, chatting, coffee-ing, and going to the cinema. There would be the odd times where we visit a local attraction.

Last weekend was SUPER Girliciously FUN! hehe.

My gal pals were Georgina (or George as she is better known) and Laura. Laura has been my good friend in Glasgow. We met on the First day of our induction as junior house officers in Glasgow Royal Infirmary. We were both very early. She sat beside me. Later, we found out that we were both working in the same ward. We grew really close since then. George, on the other hand, was a colleague whom I met when I was also a junior house officer. However, she is not as close a friend as Laura.

Anywho, we flew to Dublin late Friday night. The weather in Dublin was pretty dull, to be honest. There was intermittent drizzle on Saturday, while on Sunday, it was SO chilly. But we kind of expected the weather to be like that.

We had tasty fried brunch to kick off our weekend. We wondered along the streets of Dublin, and popped into different shops to do some window shopping. As it was a chilled outing, we could not be bothered to visit the museums or galleries. We just wanted to look at buildings and take pics! Shopping was slightly pricey because of the current foreign exchange rates....but I still managed to grab a few bargains....like a new coat from Pull & Bear! hehe.

It was also an extremely sinful weekend. I had never eaten so much JUNK!! We munched on bags of Doritos, Mars Planets, M&Ms, chips.... and had a little too much alcohol. We had complete English brunch on both days. I ate 2 sunnyside ups on Sunday! Somehow, at the end of the weekend, my cholesterol level must have doubled!

oh well, the most important thing is I have enjoyed myself. I felt rejuvenated. I was ready to face being back at work, and facing all the nonsense that I have to deal with in the hospital. =D

Brunch @ Elephant & Castle - this is the first time I ate 2 eggs in a meal

I've Found My Golden Coin

It is very common to see coins or sometimes, notes, lying on the street. Some think that picking up money on the streets is not good, and some think that it brings the person good luck. Some think that it is too much a hassle to bend down to pick it up, and some think that every penny is worth it...even if it was only 1 pence.

I hardly ever bend down to pick up money found lying on the street. Don't ask me why. I really do not know....maybe I'm just trying to be too honest. However, having said that, I've found my golden coin a few days ago!

That evening, I was happily window shopping in Borders. I walked around shop looking at magazines, and was also actually trying to rest my feet, as they were very very painful because the heels of my shoes were killing me! Anyway, as I made my way out of the shop, I was something glittering on the floor. I looked towards that glitter, and hold and behold, I saw a big golden coin lying there.

Maybe it was Chinese New Year, or maybe the coin had some kind of magnetic pull, I instantly walked towards the coin and picked it up! Let me tell you, it is not any golden coin. It is pretty special! Here it is:

=D hehe....I know, I know, it is a fake chocolate gold coin.....and it is from Starbucks Coffee.....but what the heck! I found it on the 1st day of the OX year, and I will treasure it.

I found the whole thing pretty amusing! I mean, what a coincidence, dont ya think??

........ secretly, I hope it will bring me loads of luck and happiness this year! CHEERS! Hope everyone is enjoying CNY back home!

OXpicious Year!

Ahh...its that time of the year again!

Its Chinese New Year...and it is the year of the "Niu" or in english, the OX.

GONG XI FA CAI!

I really miss the atmosphere back home...all the "dong dong dong chiang" tunes, the chinese new year goodies (bak kua, love letters, yee sang, etc), the ang pows, the exciting card games....and of course, meeting up with friends and family.

Over here in UK, it is yet another day....no Bank Holiday...everyone goes to work as usual...unless you have chinese friends, most people do not know that it is the first day of CNY. Lucky for me, my annual leave starts today for 5 days. Nothing much planned. Just going to chill, complete some work-related stuff, shopping, eating, hanging out with friends.....=)

Yesterday, I had dim sum with kevin and sis for our reunion meal. We had initially planned to cook...but guess we were all abit too tired to do that. After that, we went on to watch Slumdog Millionaire.

Thumbs up x 2 for this movie...It was excellent...a very simple story...it just shows how somethings happen for a reason because it has been written for you. You can't really predict what happens...but a little luck does play a huge role. Highly recommended. I think the next movie I would like to catch is the "Chindi Chowk Goes to China."

Anyway, here's wishing everyone a happy chinese new year!! My cousin sent this to me:

BULL-eye your goals

BULL-doze the year with abundance of good fortunes, health and wealth!!

CHEERS!!!

The Sky is Crying For Them

What a week! Never have I been this emotionally disturbed after work as I have last week. One after another sad events seem to be happening to all my beloved patients.

1. A young 66 year old man, with multiple metastasis to liver/lungs, but unknown primary, died within 2 weeks of being diagnosed. His wife was distraught. To make matters worse, he died while she went away to have a cup of tea as she didn't want to face her husband in tears.

2. A lady, aged 70-ish, who was diagnosed with a right parietal infarct in her brain, which left her with mild residual weakness of left arm, presented with worsening left sided weakness, to the extent that she kind of neglected her left side and was stumbling. An urgent repeat CT showed multiple brain metastasis, again, the primary cancer is unknown. Neither did she nor I expected this...as I thought she merely had an extension of her stroke. She was very upset....and the fact that she has worked in a Hospice for over 20 years, made her aware of what she is going to face in the next few weeks to months or years! She was so emotionally unstable...her son also lost his ability to calm his mother down.

3. A 75 year old man, with a history of weight loss and epigastric pain, presented with general tiredness, confusion and severe dehydration. He looked really unwell. He was jaundiced, cachetic, and very confused. We wanted to arrange an urgent CT for him, but unfortunately his poor kidney function did not allow for it. So we opted for an abdominal ultrasound scan, which revealed a mass at the head of pancreas. He died on the 4th day of his hospital admission. It was an unpleasant scene, as his wife, is a young Asian lady, who did not really comprehend English... so making explanation difficult...it was awful that we couldn't find an interpreter. However, luckily her friends were able to translate some English words for her.

At the end of the week, I was an emotional wreck. I know that dying is part of life, but honestly, informing family members the bad news was difficult and watching them cry for their loved ones, was even worse! I felt my heart twisting in pain, and could feel my emotions building up.... but I had to remind myself to maintain composure.

The poor wife of one of the patients asked me, "Can he hear me??? Can he see me?? Is he going to die today??" A felt a huge lump building up in my throat....I mean how are you meant to be responding to such questions?

And I wonder why the new year has started so badly for them all. The sky is also crying for them....the silly weather has been windy and stormy.

I do not know whether doctors should or shouldn't be holding back their emotions in circumstances like these. I mean, at the end of the day, I am just another normal human being. I remember being told at medical school, that as a doctor, I should empathise...but should NEVER ever cry with the patients or family. In some ways I feel that, if I cry, then, I will not be able to provide good support for them and I might be deemed unprofessional??? But if I don't cry, does that mean I am emotion-less?? I don't know.

Difficult Patients

There are so many types of patients in the world. They can be pleasant and cooperative, demanding and manipulative, rude and aggressive, confused, psychotic, etc...

Patients that I have found particularly difficult to deal with are those who are demanding and manipulative, and those who are rude and aggressive. I mean, look, you are in the hospital because you're not feeling well, so just blooming do as you're told.

My recent weekend on -call was probably one of the least busy ones. However, the amount of difficult patients I have to deal with was really pushing me to my limits, and I could feel myself losing my patience. One of the example was this:

I was paged multiple times by fellow nurses in a particular ward about this gentleman, who claimed that he was not seen by a doctor for 4 days. He has threatened to take an irregular discharge, and he was being really rude to the nurses. He has also been self-medicating in the ward (which is not allowed in the hospital environment). I was told that he was seen by the junior house officer the day before, who tried to reassure him, but he has refused to listen to him. He had insisted of seeing a senior medical doctor. Therefore, I was called along.

When I arrived, he had all his bags packed (but was still in his sleeping robe!). I looked through the notes, and I found 2 entries (one by the consultant looking after him on Thursday and another by a senior doctor in the same team). The last entry was on Friday. Remember that it was the weekend...and in this hospital, no formal ward rounds take place...and only patients who are acutely unwell, would be reviewed. So, the whole crisis about he "was not seen" was a total farce.

I introduced myself and apologised for taking such a long time before I had the time to see him. He accepted my apology. BUT, then came verbal diarrhoea of what he was not happy about. He was unhappy about this medications. He demanded to have a few of his medications that were stopped because of his worsening kidney function. He was unhappy about the way the nurses are treating him. He was unhappy about the fact that he is a medical patient in a surgical ward. He was unhappy about why his consultant has not been to see him over the weekend...etc...the list went on and on. He said I should have got the consultant to review him.

I got pretty fed up, to be honest. Who are you to tell me what to do? You are a patient, and you should do as you're told. If your allegations were true, then I'm happy to accept your complaints...but the fact was, none of them were!

Anywho, I could only apologised, and explained why his medications were not given, and stressed to him that it is the weekend, and only very limited medical team are on site.... gosh...it took me like an hour just to keep him happy! I could have used my time to review other sicker patients.

I suspect what might happen at the end of day is, he may well file a complaint. I remembered reading through one of the complaint letters addressed to a particular consultant.

"I am happy and satisfied with my medical care. But I am outraged that I was given a soup spoon to eat my porridge, and the trousers that the nursing staff provided me with (as I did not have any of my own) did not fit. It was too big!"

I laughed when I read that....what kind of complaint is that?? What is the problem between using a normal spoon and a soup spoon to eat your porridge...it is just the same. And, I think he was lucky enough to be provided trousers to put on before discharge.

Patients....what can I say? I guess it makes my job colourful.

*my apologies in advance to any patients who got offended by reading this post.

Treasure Your Life!

I was slightly disheartened when I went to work this morning. One of my patients died in the early hours of the morning.

He wasn't just any patient. He was such a lovely man....and to make me feel even worse, it was his birthday yesterday! He had no family members, and lived alone. However, he had caring friends, who sent him a surprise birthday parcel to the hospital! aww...isn't that sweet? Unfortunately, he was so unwell yesterday to even realise that it was his birthday, and he was quite confused. He was struggling so hard to breathe, and I could just see him deteriorating right in front of my eyes. Neither of his friends live nearby. Sadly, there was no one there with him to accompany him during his last few hours of his life.....he died alone.

May he rest in peace.

urrgghh....doesn't that just depress you? I just feel utterly sorry, and I know, by now, having been in this job for more than 2 years, I should be used to this....but no.

It just made me treasure my life even more. I mean, would he ever thought that he would be spending the last moment of his life on his birthday....and in the hospital.....and alone?? No, of course not. You'll never know what is going to happen to you...and I think the phrase, "Live each day of your life to the fullest" is so so true.

Let me be honest here. I feel disgusted when I see many people drinking too much alcohol, taking too much drugs, and just simply not treasuring their lives at all! I mean, yes, you may have a social problem, but heck, there are many ways to go around it, and not drain yourselves under booze and illicit drugs.

Ah well, who am I to tell them what to do with their lives.

Maggi, My Saviour!

Call me pathetic or sad....but I really got excited when I saw this at Tesco 2 days ago:

hehe... I mean, Tesco? Selling Maggi Mee?? They were even selling them in packs of 5! It was about 1 pound for 4 little packs of Maggi...which is actually not bad, considering that the currency has dropped so much.

Maggi is indeed my saviour, especially on days when I don't know what to cook, days when I finish work late and am absolutely starving, the cold, freezing, rainy days (like now)....etc.. honestly, Maggi is simply The Best! And it takes less than 5 minutes to cook!

I was just back in Malaysia 3 months ago. And I don't think they were selling this particular flavour back home.

aahhhh...yummy... maybe I shall eat Maggi later when I get back from work. =)

Can I have some spider, please?

Yes, I would like some spider, please??

Have you not heard of Spider? Ah man, you must be well out of date! Spider is the coolest thing, at least thats what I think anyway, which my friends and I created recently! No, it's not that insect, you call a spider, you numpty!

Spider = Spices + cider

haha.

We came across ready made spice packs in Sainsbury recently. It was THE perfect pack to make mulled spiced cider....instead of the usual mulled wine. It was dead easy. Just pour about 1 L of cider and add in the spices.....I threw in a couple more dashes of cinnamon powder and also, freshly grated nutmeg. Remember to serve it with freshly chopped apples.

It was tasty! The spices smelt great, and gave the cider an excellent taste. Both my housemate and I toasted to the New Year with some spider. It is even tastier in this below Zero degrees temperature.

Do try it! =)

Welcome 2009!

I honestly can't believe that another year has gone by!

2008 has been a "not bad" year. A lot of new experiences and adventures!

Let me take a look back:

• New job, with heavier responsibilities. So heavy that I felt rather intimidated by it when I first started the job. I am a little better now, but still approach my on-calls with butterflies in my stomach.
• I did some wall climbing at Edinburgh...which was brilliant...unfortunately, I have never been back because I do not have a climbing partner.
• I am certainly ALOT fitter now....I can run 5k in less than 30 minutes. =)
• I have been travelling!! I visited a few places this year....such as, Amsterdam, Isle of Skye, Gloucester, and Poland.
• Meet new friends both at work and socially. They are all nice people.
• I have been socialising more in 2008. I have been out to a few night outs...and xmas parties, which I have never really done previously.
• Oh...yes, I have also popped plenty of xmas crackers this year! hehe.
• I took over ownership of a black Ipod nano from my beloved brother. =P
• I am officially a gig-fanatic....thanks to Kev! haha. Yes, let me see, I have seen Duffy (which started it all), Radiohead, Oasis, Kings of Leon, The Ting Tings, Bon Jovi....and will be at Take That's Gig in June 2009! woo hoo...can't wait.
• I have matured more as a person. I began to realise the reality of being a doctor....the fact that I have to make important decisions with regards to treatment, I have to break bad news to them, and I have to watch them die in front of my eyes...for me, these are not easy to face. Every patient is different, everyone will respond differently to treatment, every patient is a new challenge.
• Even working with different bosses and nurses....they are a huge challenge. Patience is definitely a virtue. All the abuse I get from the nurses about how irrelevant they think my actions were, all the constant unnecessary remarks from the bosses...man, it's only now, that I began to realise that working is not as easy as I thought it was....
• and how could I forget, I met a special someone, called, Kevin...who is the most artistic person I have ever met. He introduced me to the art world, music, photography.... Who would have thought I would spend my weekend listening to a famous artist talking about his art work? hehe..yes... new experiences. Adam Neate, Banksy, Damien Hurst....never have I imagined that I would have a little knowledge about their famous works.

There are so many other things... all good memories, and some bad.

Hope 2009 will be more challenging and exciting for me. I have made no resolutions this year. My only wish for everyone is good health and good luck!

CHEERS TO 2009!!! =)

and of course, to my beloved Kevin, thank you for listening to all my rants....and thank you for being who you are.

ps...note the new look to my blog...and a new blog title too! =) Its a new year, Its a brand new start!

Treatment or No Treatment?

I have always found myself stuck in a difficult position in medicine. But I always believe that I could only do what I feel is right and best for my patient. Of course, I have to ensure that whatever I do, does not cause more harm to my patient. During the final months of medical school training, I began to accept that I am the person in charge of making decisions, that could either safe or kill a patient! Shite!

Last night, I found myself in such a position. A poor elderly lady with dementia and has been registered blind, was admitted to the hospital with a chest infection. Unfortunately, things turn for the worse, when she developed kidney failure and, looking through her ECGs (heart tracing), it was noted that she might have also suffered a silent heart attack. A further blood test confirmed that she definitely did have a heart attack whilst in the hospital. She was hardly passing any urine because of her poor kidney function. She had antibiotics and intravenous fluids running to treat her illness. Looking at her co-morbidities, I felt that she is such a frail old lady with hardly any quality of life. I made the decision that she should NOT BE RESUSCITATED (DNAR) in the even of a cardiopulmonary arrest, but we should, however, continue to treat whatever we can.

Later in the morning, she became even more unwell. She started to breathe really hard and her oxygen saturations deteriorated. I wondered whether she was overloaded with fluids or her chest infection has worsened. I made the decision to perform another chest x-ray and repeated a couple more blood test. At that time, I was assisted by a specialist nurse and a few other staff nurses.

The moment they heard that I was going to get another chest x-ray, they looked very puzzled. They questioned me about it. They said, "But she has a DNAR status. Why are we still doing chest x-rays and repeating blood tests?"

I felt abit frustrated with that question. From my humble opinion, although she is no longer for resuscitation, there is still an opportunity to reverse anything that could potentially be reversible. As far as I am aware, a DNAR means do not attempt to restart the heart when it stops beating, and NOT withdraw any treatment. If we were not going to do anything about her increasing respiratory distress, then why even asked me to review her?

I mean, let's face it, if she did have fluid overload, this is treatable with diuretis etc. And she only had 3 days worth of antibiotics, so if her chest infection is worsening, we could try to add a few more antibiotics to see if it will help. I mean, we should at least try a minimum of 7 days of antibiotics before we could say, "oh right, looks like she's not going to improve...we have tried what we could."

I don't know. I felt that my decision was not supported by my fellow team members. Deep inside of me, I still did not want to give up on that poor old lady. I know she is demented, she does not have a clue on what is happening, but I believe that if there is a chance to treat something, we should still try before giving up on a life....rather than let her die uncomfortably.

To treat or not to treat? DNAR or not, I personally feel that she should try our best, and only give up, if there is evidence that she has not responded at all.

Credit Crunch? yeah rite....

The much awaited Boxing Day sale has begun! In fact, because of the credit crunch, many shops have started their sale even before Boxing day.

I decided to pop into town yesterday to hunt around for good bargains too. And credit crunch or not, the people in Glasgow are spending money like there was no tomorrow! Some woke up as early as 5 am to start their shopping spree at Next (a famous brand here, and their sales start at 5 am!). The number of people shopping was crazy! I could hardly walk inside the River Island store.....and the queues to pay was up to the entrance! Talk about credit crunch, not!

I visited a few of my fav shops, ie Zara, Mango, Gap, Warehouse and Accessorize. =) I did manage to get myself a few pretty accessories, tights, and also a lovely purple dress from Zara. I was, however, disappointed that I couldn't find the thigh length cardigan at Zara....There wasn't much that caught my attention at Mango. But its alright, I am very happy with my purchases....

To be honest, the sale wasn't THAT great either. I mean, not all of the stuff are half price or less.... some of them only had 20% off or so. I am still looking to buy my body butters from Bodyshop....but I think I will do this online....because I get free delivery! muahaha.

okie...I am feeling very drained now...on-call last night was the quietest one I EVER had! But because I didnt rest before the on-call and also partly contributed by the 1 hour long resuscitation (in which the poor young lady died)....I am now absolutely shattered. The fact that I might have caught the cold from my kind patients doesn't help either.

=) well....me going to hide under duvet now!

Crackers n Cheese, Anyone?

I was really looking forward to watching Wallace and Gromit, "A Matter of Loaf and Death," last night....and I was not disappointed at all!

If you have no idea who Wallace and Gromit are, please cover your face in shame. =P

It is actually a clay animated comedy, starring Wallace, a chesse-loving man, and his ever faithful doggie, Gromit. They both work together very well to create all kinds of super high technology machines to make life easier for them....or for their own business. In this animation, they are both very funny and always supporting each other in their adventures. Although Gromit doesn't talk, his facial expressions say a million things!

Anyway, last night, BBC 1 premiered a brand new adventure, titled as above. Oh man, it was hilarious! There were witty lines, and an exciting storyline. This time, Wallace n Gromit started a new bakery business. However, Wallace fell in love with Piella Bakewell, a deadly murderer, who was killing all the bakers in town! It was up to Gromit to make Wallace realise that. So do catch their adventure on BBC iPlayer...

I was laughing my way through the animation....and *shhhh..... I watched it twice! muahaha. That's how crazy I am. Anyway, its breakfast time, and I might just have some cheese and crackers, with a nice cup of tea, would you like to join me?

Mince Pies n Mulled Wine

ahh...finally, here I am sitting in front of my notebook, on Xmas morning, hiding under my duvet, writing on my blog, which I have not done for AGES!

=)

so merry xmas everyone.

For once, I am not working today. I had a few old frens over for dinner last night. It was no traditional dinner though. There was no turkey, no christmas pudding...but we had tasty spanish paella, pakora, spicy curried fish, risotto, with buttered broccoli, runner beans and carrots. Pretty random menu, no? It was lovely though...not had such meals with frens for such a long time. Its amazing what work can do to you...you become so anti-social, and basically, you forget to enjoy life!

I was very sleepy and tired after dinner....and kinda fell asleep on the couch after a half a glass of mulled wine and mince pie. And I have woken up on the couch, greeted by the lovely glow from my xmas tree, which has been decorated with purply-black baubles! And oh, hehe....I still managed to open my pressies before I dozed off.

What did I get? I got a lovely embellished clutch from my best friend, Laura. Got a big box of Thornton's chocolate, a christmas cake, and a nice scented cande from Helen, my flatmate. Also, I received a lovely bracelet from another friend who's now in Birmingham. Ah Hoon gave me a lovely pair of earrings. There were a few other pressies which I have opened before xmas...and they were smellies from Lush (which were not the slightest bit smelly!), a lovely Xmas card holder (again, from Ah Hoon)....and the best of all, Kev gave me my favourite Take That CD, n cute little wee Nigel (that fat rat in Ratatouille). =D

hmm..let me see, this year's build up to Xmas day has been really excellent. Here are my reasons:
- From never popping a christmas cracker all my life, to cracking 4 of them this year.
- From never attending any work xmas nite outs, to attending 2.
- From never getting any pressies from ppl at work, to receiving 2 red wine bottles!

haha...so yes, I am quite chuffed about it.

No real plans today. Ah Hoon is flying to KL today. So I'll take her to the airport later. But, we will need to savour the huge almond pannettone first for brunch, accompanied by a lovely cuppa. =D

I am looking forward to watching Wallace n Grommit tonight. BBC is premiering a 30 min animation from Wallace n Grommit called "A Matter of Loaf n Death." Will be back to work tomorrow....NIGHT ON CALLS again! I always seem to be doing nites! ah well, shouldn't complain.

Have a lovely day everyone....I have alot more things to blog about...so will prob do them slowly over the course of this holiday period!

Spread the joy of christmas. Sing xmas carols. MERRY CHRISTMAS!


ps. my all time xmas favourite is Fairytale of New York.

If I Were a Boy

This song is fantastic! Boys might not like it for obvious reasons...

If I were a boy
even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
and throw on what I wanted and go

Drink beer with the guys
and chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
and I'd never get confronted for it
cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
so they'd think that I was sleeping alone

I’d put myself first
and make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’ll be faithful,
waiting for me to come home, to come home.

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake,
think i'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
you thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don't understand
and you don't understand, ohhhh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

but your just a boy

Green Man

The Incredible Hulk, Hell Boy.....what do they have in common??

They are human-like creatures that have distinctive skin colour.

For instance, the Hulk has green skin, while, Hell Boy has red skin.

Now, who would imagine that such skin colour actually DOES exist in this world??

Today, I met a GREEN man (he probably holds the world record for being SO GREEN!).

Yeap...no kidding. He is as GREEN as the Hulk, but with a darker shade. Nope, he didn't paint himself green. He is naturally green because he has too much bilirubin in his body! His liver is in fulminant failure, and I think he's not going to live very long. But, he was a real eye opener!

Hi, I am Dr. Death

I think one of the most obvious duty of a doctor that was NEVER stated in the job description is to break bad news to patients. Before I entered the clinical years of medicine, it never occurred to me that one day, I would be the one giving the patients bad news. And now, it has happened. Nothing could be worse than telling a patient that he or she has cancer, and only has a few more months to live.

And to add more "spice" into my life, what coincidence that I had to inform 2 of my patients that they have cancer on the same day! I felt like Dr. Death. In the morning, I sat down with a lovely patient, and broke the news to her that she has metastatic cancer. No matter how I tried to let the news out gently, I found it so difficult to even say the word "cancer." But I have no choice. I paused for a split second to wait for her reaction. And as expected, she broke down into tears. I felt myself welling up with tears too....but I told myself that I can't be crying with the patient... I need to be strong for her....to give her support. Not easy...especially when I can be rather emotional too.

Later in the afternoon, I thought my day was going to be better. Huh! Dream on! I discovered that another patient has an irregular shaped mass in her body. Sigh. I dreaded going through the whole process again. Anywho, I approached the patient. Luckily, her husband was with her. This patient admitted that she has thought whether she has cancer....and she was kind of mentally prepared for the bad news I broke to her. Unfortunately, as cancer is associated with death, she started to cry. Although I think her cancer is in the early stages and likely treatable, the general population would think that death is inevitable in a few years' or months' time.

Sigh. I felt like an evil person at the end of the day. I couldn't help but think that I had the Death Aura around me. I wondered, why in the world did I choose this profession.....I hate telling patients that they have cancer. I have done it many times since I started working...and you would think that it gets easier. Yeah rite.