Thursday, May 19, 2011

Freaking Out!

Now that I'm back in the UK, reality has started to sink in, once again.

There are 4 weeks left to my PACES exam in June....and honestly, I am shitting myself.

The last time I had a proper OSCE style examination was during medical school years, which was many moons ago! I recalled sitting outside the examination rooms extremely nervous. My heart was thumping hard, fingers icy cold, palms sweaty, and I had a churning/crampy feeling in my tummy. Gosh...I really hated that feeling. It was worse than taking my UK driving test or Grade 8 piano exams or presenting at a regional meeting. I also remembered saying to myself," I don't ever want to have these feelings ever again."

Well, come 20th June, I know that these feelings will come back to haunt me. Ok, I know that I have no choice. I have to take the exam in order to make a step closer towards specialisation. If I pass, then I will be over the moon! But if I were to fail, which is a very high probability, then, I will have to face the exam again...

Life is so unfair! :(

Today, I attended my first PACES teaching session. I really thought that cardiovascular examination is probably the only examination skill that I have mastered properly.

Huh! dream on!

I forgot to test for a collapsing pulse, missed palpation for the apex beat and got my special murmur manoeurve all mixed up! Its amazing how being put on the"hot seat" made me fall deep into a hole.... sigh.

Bearing this in mind, I don't even want to think how I would perform a good and sleek neurological examination!!!

I seriously need to put my arse into gear...practise! practise! and more practise!!

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