6 more days and counting!

The only thing that is keeping me through the crap at work is the thought that I'll be home in less than 7 days!

woo hoo!!

I really can't wait. I am really excited coz I haven't been home for the past 2 years. But at the same time, I am rather stressed with it too. Well, should I say that the stress is actually GOOD stress. I mean it is NOT like exam stress at all, which I must say is BAD stress.

Now you may ask why am I stressed out?

The stress is because I have not much time left for packing.....I dislike the fact that I am on-call this weekend. If only I were off, I could take the time to pack my stuff, and also maybe do abit of last minute shopping.

The other stress is having to prepare a speech for my good friend who is getting married in exactly 10 days. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely honoured to be asked to speak at her wedding reception.....but the only problem is I have never done this before. I have never been to a wedding reception before! So I really do not know where to start! Anyone has any good ideas? Or anyone has spoken at a wedding reception before???? Please share your ideas and experience with me.

I am thinking of starting it with a lil LOVE quote, and then, proceed to talking about what I think of my friend as a person, and how she met her hubby and managed to keep the relationship strong for the past for more than 5 years.

hmm...it is easy to think of what to say...but it is putting those thoughts into words I find difficult. I still haven't started to write anything yet....and time is running short!! help!!

Those stress aside, I am starting to count down to the moment I step into my flight back home to destination: KL.

Physiological Changes to the Body During Stress

Gosh...its amazing what stress can do to one's body. I have been very stressed lately, with exams, portfolios and work.

Stress was at its peak yesterday because it was exam day! My body was behaving oddly.

I could not sleep...(waking up every hour from my sleep is NO sleep at all.

I struggled to eat any of my meals (but forced myself to otherwise my brain cannot function).

I have million butterflies in my stomach (highest number yesterday compared to the rest of the week).

I felt so nauseated that I nearly vomited in the train!

My heart rate was averaging from 90 to 100 bpm for most of the day.

I was having pleuritic chest pain for a few hours.

My fingers and toes were freezing.....and the palms were sweaty.

........... This morning, I slept bit better, still having some flashbacks about the exam yesterday....I just need to stop thinking of the questions and the answers..... Coz when you think about it, you want to know whether you have put down the right answers by looking it up in the book. If the answer was right, that's good....if not, I will feel very upset. So I'm really trying not to think about it.

It is time to get ready to work.... I am not hungry, but probably should have my breakfast otherwise I would be hungry later.

I am hoping for a stress-free day at work today....can't physically manage another stressful day again today.

Grim

Dying from cancer seems like the most dreadful thing. It is a slow and painful death. There will be numerous hospital admissions either for chemotherapy, radiotherapy or surgery. And let's not forget that these patients have to endure endless complications either secondary to the side effect of their treatment or because of countless infections.

It has been a grim day at work today. 1 out of 4 patients in the ward is suffering from terminal cancer. None of them are curable. Majority of them have a severe infection, while the others have new spread of their cancer.

I really can't imagine how much pain these poor patients are experiencing. It must be excruciating. We are trying to manage these pain issues with strong doses of opiates, and also putting them on a syringe driver. But we never seem to be able to keep their pain score at ZERO.

And it also makes my heartache when I saw a lovely man in the ward who was talking to me about 2 hours ago, and just as I left the hospital, he was unconscious, agitated and taking the last few breaths of his life. I know I shouldn't be surprised to see how quickly a cancer can kill you, as I have seen many of them in such situations, but still, I can't help it.

To top it all off, it upsets me even more when people drink far too much alcohol for their own good, and end up having liver damage because of it. Why do you self mutilate your body?! And once we have treated you and get you back on your feet....what do you do??? Of course! You go back to your old drinking habits. Within a few months, they bounce back into the hospital again, and the whole cycle repeats itself.

Have they ever thought of how previous their life is??? Why do they want to end their life so quickly??? Have they even thought of those patients suffering from terminal diseases that would prefer to live on for a little longer, but can't because they isn't any other way to cure them?

I dunno. I guess this is medicine and the reality of life for me.