Oh dear....this job is really emotionally challenging at times.
Today, I spent 1 hour on the telephone just trying to explain to an extremely dissatisfied, and misinformed daughter of a patient about her father's care.
I mean it is alright if she does not have a clue about medicine, or she has no idea about what tests we are doing to investigate the cause of her father's initial presentation.
But what I really could not understand was how could someone not even attempt to listen to what I have to say! I mean, come on, no matter how unhappy you are about any part of the care, just please, give me a chance to explain and provide you with more information.
She was extremely unpleasant to me over the phone, which, is fine, I mean, I can tolerate that. However, whenever I tried to say something to explain the situation, she just spoke over me.
She felt that catheterising her dad, who came in with acute urinary retention: "appalling."
The fact that we were not able to perform a 24 hour Holter because her dad was uncooperative (ie, kept pulling it off his body): She thought we were not doing anything.
She did not believe me when I told her that her dad was very confused and agitated. She said it was all because of the sedative meds we gave him. Ok, yes, we sedated him alittle because he was at danger of harming himself by trying to tug at different things.....But, the fact that the reason he was acting like that was due to underlying sepsis has been absolutely pushed away by her!
I dunno. I really felt like giving up at the end of the conversation. She was not listening to what I have to say, and I felt that there was not much point in even explaining things. I just wish, sometimes, people would just listen first, before jumping into any conclusions.
6 comments:
did you listen to her concerns?
communication is a two-way process - your listening skill is just as important as your "talking" skills.
yeah....it is a 2 way process. i spoke, and i listened. I spoke, but she did not listen.
Her only concern was why her dad is not back to his usual self...which was wat i was trying to explain to her.
There are many barriers to effective communications, something which no doubt you will learn as you progress in your career. Language, personal agenda, educational level etc etc.
Your job is to explain to her in a way that she can understand.
You said: She felt that catheterising her dad, who came in with acute urinary retention: "appalling."
This might be incomprehensible for you, but why did she feel so? Perhaps she had previous bad experience with catheter. Perhaps she didn't understand completely about the nature of the procedure.
Obviously you haven't given us the whole story. I appreciate that this is not possible.
I would suggest you reflect on this incident, talk to your peers and seniors. In fact it would make a good CbD!!
hmm..i beg to differ. i did not use any jargon, in fact, drew a picture for her to explain the reason for catheterisation. Unfortunately, she was still not very impressed.
I agree that there would be alot of barriers to communication. she is a well educated lady.
I am not blaming the patient's family for not understanding and being difficult, but I only wished she would give me a chance to speak, rather than pushing me away.
and oh trust me, even the consultant faced difficulty with her.
This is just one of the challenges I have faced at work, that I like to share.
That's exactly my point. You only see it from your view point. You think you were doing the right thing.
You said:
"i did not use any jargon, in fact, drew a picture for her to explain the reason for catheterisation. Unfortunately, she was still not very impressed."
Why was she still not impressed?
What issues have you not addressed?
I would urge you to reflect on the case. It will only do you good for your future dealings with people.
Remember, over 80% of complaints are related to poor communication.
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