Is It Trust or.....is it just plain laziness?

hmm.....I kept asking myself these questions over the past 3 nights.

Yeap, I am doing the night shifts these week. Someone has got to do it...and it so happened to be my turn this time.

I am not complaining about it...

But I somehoe dread going into the shifts.

I mean, no one can predict how busy it is going to be....what sort of disaster is going to happen.... or whether it is going to be a quiet night (oh no, I said the dreaded Q-word!).

But, but, what really bothers me is my senior colleague I am working with.

Senior Colleague's name is J.

J is a medical registrar. So J has to oversee everything in the hospital. He is the boss at night, second to the consultant who is on-call from home. Yes, so J's responsibility is HUGE.

So I really wonder, how come J goes to bed every single night of these shifts from about 1 am to 6 am?? J has left me with all the acute admissions during that time. If it is a ok night, I really do not mind at all. But when there are 10 people on the board waiting to be seen, and more to come...surely, J should help out, no?

J is the registrar, yes, I know that.

But, this is the first time I'm working with J. So, J doesn't know whether I know what to do, whether I am careless or careful...etc.

So the question is.....Does J really trust me so much that he has left me with all the admissions? Or, is J just plain lazy? When J wakes up later, he will just say," Oh there were more admissions this morning, eh? Everything ok?"

Hmm...I don't know. I want to say that he trusts me. But deep down, I think there is a tiny bit of laziness there.

Unexpected Visitor

I seem to attract the authorities. This is my 4th encounter with the police.

This week, I came back from work as usual. I was really hungry that day, and quickly heated up my leftovers in my microwave. While enjoying my dinner, I suddenly heard a loud knock on the door.

I was like....hmm...who could that possibly be? I thought it was a delivery man, sending a parcel.

So, I peeped through the hole in my door.

Oh-uh, there was a police officer standing at the front of my door. Immediately, I could feel the adrenaline rush....my heart started to thump really fast and hard. A few thoughts came to my mind.

Did I commit a crime? Did somebody sue me? I dunno.

I opened the door to greet the police officer.

"Hello," he said.

"Ermm...hi," I replied.

"Just wanted to ask you if you knew your neighbour living over there?" he said, while pointing to my neighbour across the corridor.

"No, I don't know him. I don't know my neighbours at all," I said. (and this is true)

"You not seen him moving furniture or anything like that?"

"No I haven't. I've seen those girls living opposite him, but not see him."

"Oh ok then. Thank you very much," he said.

After I closed the door, I still felt weak in my legs. My heart was still thumping.

Don't get me wrong. I was glad that he wasn't looking for me.....glad that I wasn't in trouble. But I can't help feeling intimidated when I meet a police officer.

I speak to police officers occasionally in the hospital environment, and even prison officers. But I do not feel scared when doing so. It is probably because I was in a hospital, where there are other colleagues around me. While being at home, there is no one else.

I am so Stiff!

It was a lovely bright sunny day yesterday. I have been working for the past 2 weeks without any break.....therefore, I decided that it was time to soak up some lovely sunshine, and fresh air.

So what did I decide to do?

Go for a jog around the park.

It wasn't a bad idea to start with. I used to run 9 miles a week (6 months ago!). I stopped running because the weather was becoming colder, and I moved down here to M'bro. I had to quit my old gym....and was TOO lazy to get myself registered in a new one locally.

I got changed into my exercise gear. Did bit of warm up...and started to jog at a slow pace. After one round, I was panting like I have just completed a marathon run. My heart was thumping so hard. I could not continue running. So I stopped to catch my breath. After a few mins, I started to run again....but found myself stopping another time just before the second round was completed.

=(

Yes, clearly I have lost my fitness level...how upsetting!

I remembered being able to run around the park 3 times without stopping....and now, only just one round?! Gosh...how bad is that?!

Luckily there was the happy sunshine and fresh air to cheer me up a little.

This morning, I got up with stiffness all over. My quadriceps are stiff and achy....my lower back is just the same too.....sigh, these are the consequences of not exercising regularly.

I shall now attempt to run bit more regularly.....i hope! no more excuses, now that the weather is so much warmer!

If Only I Can Split Myself into Two

Exactly....it is impossible....well, not entirely, it can be done, only that I have to lose my life.... *yikes (that's not ideal!)

I really do love my job. I really do...trust me. The only thing I struggle with is trying to be in 2 different places at the same time. I am sure many other doctors out there will agree with me. This situation is made worse when you're in an on-call shift, where you are IT. You are THE ONLY doctor on-call for the wards...in charge of looking after more than 100 patients during that shift.

I found myself caught in a dilemma over the weekend. The situation was:

• a patient was scoring a EWS of 12?!
• a patient complaining of chest pain
• a man who had more than 1 litre of ascitic fluid drained from him, and now hypotensive
• a patient with pyrexia
• a patient who has disseminated malignancy in severe pain (despite being on really high doses of opioids)

Now, I received these many calls within 10 minutes. HELP!

I told myself...prioritise....prioritise.....breathe....breathe....dun panic.

So off I went to see this patient with a EWS of 12. He was really really sick. After performing a few resuscitative measure, I quickly walked across to the opposite ward to check on the ECG for the patient with chest pain.

Great! Now he is in uncontrolled AF! A quick assessment was done followed by giving him a rate limiting medication.

Then, I rushed back to that sick patient....still very ill.... did a few more things for him....but he was too ill to be left alone. So I called the ward to ask about the hypotensive patient...who apparently looked "washed out" according to the nurses. I told the nurses to give him a fluid challenge to see if it would help.

The patient I was with was now scoring a 14. !!!!!!

I actually did contact my SPR for some advice...which he did provide...but clearly none of them was working. He needed HDU/ITU support. I called my SPR again...it took him such a long time to come review this ill patient (it wasn't like he was busy in the MAU!).

Anyhow, in between all these chaos, the poor cancer patient has been left in pain....I felt so guilty. I told the nurses to give him some IV morphine...but none of them could cannulate him... so I told them to give it s/c instead.

Finally the ill patient went to HDU. I was now able to leave him to carry on with my other tasks....

*sigh.... it was certainly a challenging day. I was so exhausted in the end. To add to that tiredness, was plenty of guilt. I felt that I was not doing a good job. The poor cancer patient was left in so much pain....in fact, he was in pain for nearly 9 hours, before I could sit down and calculate how much morphine he requires in a syringe pump.

Imagine if one of my family members were left in so much pain.....that would be horrible...I would not be happy to leave them in pain for so such a long time! Luckily the cancer patient and his wife were so understanding.

SIGH. Another sigh.

Glad I am not on call for the rest of this week.

Holidays!

Its so nice to have a great holiday.

I got back from Paris more than 1 week ago, feeling rather refreshed, rejuvenated and rested. =)

We were blessed with great weather there. It was sunny everyday, except on the day we left. As a result, we managed to do alot of walking and sitting around on the pavements, enjoying the beautiful view in front of us.

Paris is a great city. Everyone is so well-dressed. Every woman carries a beautiful handbag (well, almost everyone of them). The buildings look old, but are well maintained. The only criticism I have is that things are very pricey. A simple sandwich with cheese and pickles was priced at 4 euros! I found that really dear, as I could possibly get a sandwich similar to that for 2 pounds or less in Tesco. A small cup of cappuccino costs about 2 to 2.50 euros...and I could get decent coffee at the train station in the UK for 1.50 pounds.

Anywho, that aside, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. We went to visit most of the usual attractions, including the Eiffel Tower and Versailles. Eiffel Tower is stunning. It looks even more elegant at night.... The orange lights on the tower make it glows beautifully, and did you know that the tower twinkles (with blue lights) for 5 minutes in every hour? I sat down in front of the tower for at least 3o minutes just enjoying the wonderful sight!

Oh did I also mention that I forgot to pick up my luggage from the conveyor belt at the arrival hall in Paris airport? YES....silly me. I was too busy thinking about where to catch the bus to get to Paris city centre, and thus, just walked out of the hall without even getting my luggage first. I laughed at myself for being so careless....and quickly walked back into the arrival to get me luggage. Thank God it was still there.

=) ahh...holidays.....what will we do without them? Where will me next destination be? should probably start planning soon. Now that summer is near too, there is even more reasons to plan ahead! Remember, it doesn't matter where you go, as long as it is with good company!

Short Getaway

yay!!!!

In just a few hours, I'll be flying away to the capital of France! I'll be there for a few days.

I haven't been there since I was a little girl.....to be honest, I don't remember anything of that trip made when I was about 5.

Mum keeps telling me that I was a real grumpy girl then...My dad had to carry me because I was unwilling to walk. haha. Having looked back at those pics, I would agree with mum...I didn't smile in the pictures at all!

Oh well, I am sure I will enjoy it now. =) I am keeping my fingers crossed for good weather.

Till then...au revoir everyone!

In No Hurry...

Its been more than 1 week since I left my car at the garage.....and I have yet to hear anything from them. I mean how long does it take to just change the bumper??

I became very curious....which led me to pick up the telephone to call the repair centre. She struggled to locate my car at first (which kind of worried me a little). Then, she said, "Ahh....I found it. The parts of your car only just arrived yesterday. So they are going to strip your car next.....looks like we are looking into next week."

Right. Cool.

I was bit disappointed that it took quite awhile to repair....but then, secretly, inside me was a little sense of joy? ermm...yes, remember that I am driving a cool white sporty Fiat 500. And I am getting the hang of it. So, as much as I want my car back asap....I am also in no hurry to get it back because this replacement car is great! haha.

Talking about being loyal to my wee Peugeot.....tsk tsk tsk

Small Funky Car

I have to admit that I am enjoying my temporary replacement car. I know my poor Peugeot is in the garage being fixed at the moment....I am missing it....honestly, yes, I am. However, this replacement car is quite cool.

It has been voted the "Car of the year 2008", and also the "Best Small Car" award.

I am talking about the new diesel Fiat 500. It is a really sporty 3 door car. It is very easy to drive. The interior is funky and the seats are comfy. The engine runs smoothly, and I like the sound the engine makes when I start it....it ROARRSS! haha.

My only complaint is the colour. White is nice for a dress, but for a car, dirt can be seen easily. And....I am worried that I might just fill in unleaded petrol instead of diesel! I have been having a few nightmares about that........=( Well, I know I still have at least quarter of a tank left...so that should keep me going until the end of the week, before I start worrying about it.

So, if anyone is thinking of getting a small sporty car, give the Fiat 500 a thought! (ps. it does come in a beautiful fiery red colour!)

Hanging Loose

The mechanic came to estimate the damage to my car this morning. I was really glad that he came because I was kind of anxious just waiting to find out how badly the car was hit.

After taking a couple of photos of the car, he asked, "Hey, you still driving the car?"

"Errmm...yeah, I am," I replied.

"Right ok. Do you know that it is fairly dangerous to do so?"

"Oh is it? How come?"

"Well, as the result of the impact, your exhaust pipe is actually hanging down quite loosely...so it could fall off very easily. Secondly, even if it doesn't do that, because the exhaust is loose, it leads to an increase in tension at the front part of your car....leading to even more damage to your car. So be really careful when you drive up the humps on the road," Mr Mechanic explained to me.

To be honest, all I had in my mind was how unsightly the bumper was....It never occurred to me that the exhaust was also involved in the minor accident. How ignorant of me!

I was curious to find out how much the repair would cost (although, I know the money was not coming out from my pocket...).

"Hmm....probably at least 1000 pounds minimum, and the repair may take up to 2 weeks,"he said.

Wow....that is very dear....and 2 weeks in the garage???!! man...that is long. Oh well, I guess they have to adjust the bodywork, re-spray the paint, etc.

He will be picking my car up tomorrow to get it into the garage. My courtesy car will be arriving around the same time too. I really just want my wee car sorted asap.

It Just Happens...

So it was 9 o-clock Saturday morning. I just completed my set of night shifts. When I do night shifts, I run out of food from my house very quickly....because I have no initiative to buy food during the week. Therefore, on this particular Saturday morning, I thought of all the different type of food I wanted to get from the shops. I was already formulating recipes in my head for the week!

I left the hospital and thought to myself. "Hmm....maybe I should do food shopping after getting some sleep first." But, I was actually quite awake after the adrenaline rush I had throughout the busy night. I decided against that idea...and drove myself to get some food from Morrisons and M&S. yumm....

After paying nearly 20 pounds for food, I drove myself home, quite happy and contented.

Unfortunately, this feeling did not last long. As I was heading towards a roundabout, I noticed that a car had stalled just at the entrance into the roundabout. I, therefore, pressed my brakes to slow down. All of a sudden, I saw a fast car heading towards me from the rear. I thought it would have stopped before me....however, to my horror, the car moved closer to me...and at the very last second, the driver realised that he could not stop in time, and swerved to the left...........

BANG!

My heart sank.

My car slided forward. (thank goodness the car that stalled had managed to get his engine started and drove away, otherwise, I would have bumped into it).

All blood supply drained from me.....I felt weak.

Yes, I was knocked from the back. That idiot driver was kind enough to stop his car at the side of the motorway.

We got down from the car. He apologised for his mistake. I was still in shock. We exchanged details, ie car registration number, address and contact details.

My rear bumper was cracked and dented. I think my Peugeot is a tough car. The impact was quite hard....but the bumper was still intact.....well, maybe only just hanging down slightly. Luckily none of the lights broke. Obviously, part of the car paint was scraped off....it wasn't a very nice sight.

His car was damaged even more...probably coz his car was the driving force for the accident.

Sigh...I was like, "GREAT!!! This is just what I need after a long week of night shifts!"

I drove home...still alittle shaken. I was very glad that I was safe and unhurt. To be honest, it was a very minor accident....but MINOR enough to make me scared, shocked and traumatised. I really couldn't imagine being in a major accident.....it would even be worse!

When I got home, I contacted my insurance company immediately. I was really impressed by the efficiency of the system. Come Mon/Tues, I would be able to get my car to the garage for repair...and I get a courtesy car at the same time....all on the expense of the other driver.

I am alot better now. Just wished it hadn't happened. But things like that was probably going to happen anyway. I mean, if I didn't go food shopping in the morning, I wouldn't have been in this position, no? It just happens....I was at the "right" place, at the "right" time...

Sigh.

My Fingers Are Too Short!

I've learnt one very important fact in my life as a doctor yesterday.

MY FINGERS ARE TOO SHORT!

And I thought my fingers are quite long for my size because of my piano playing background. In fact, I recalled measuring my fingers with my classmates last time, and they were surely longer than theirs!

So I was quite surprised to find that my fingers are too short for a simple manual evacuation yesterday.

hehe.

For those naive to medicine, let me tell you the satisfaction of a manual evacuation. (no not really...not so much satisfaction....more of a disgusted feeling!)

Right. The situation was this elderly lady was in the post-operative period. She has been constipated for a good few days. She has tried various laxatives to help with it, but unfortunately, none was working. I suggested a trial of a phosphate enema (you know, those things that you stick up your bum to activate a bowel motion).

To my horror, the nurse returned to tell me that she was so impacted (ie, her anus was so stuffed with faeces), to the extent that she could not even use the phosphate enema!

The nurse asked me, "So what are we going to do?"

I dreaded the thought I had in my mind.....and I reluctantly said, "Guess, the next step would be manual evacuation."

A manual evacuation of faeces is when a person inserts his/her fingers in a rectum to digitally remove faeces inside it. It is helpful in people who are rather constipated....and just need to unblock the hard faeces that is blocking the rectum. Once evacuated, it makes it alot easier for the person to open the bowels again.

I couldn't have found a better time to perform this procedure......which was after my lunch! Perfect! (I was crossing my fingers that I will keep my food down).

I explained to the patient what I was going to do....and she told me that she did not care how uncomfortable the procedure was going to be, as long as she could get rid of the discomfort she was having as a result of the constipation. She was more concerned that it would be unpleasant for me! How thoughtful!

I said, "Don't you worry about me, my dear....that's my job...to make you more comfortable!"

Prepped with double layered gloves and lots of lubricating jelly, I started the manual evacuation by inserting 2 fingers into the rectum. And............my fingers could not really reach the hard faeces stuck inside. I could feel it with my fingertips. So I just thrusted my fingers deeper into her rectum, and at the same time, wishing if only I had longer fingers. The poor patient was looking quite uncomfortable. She told me not to worry about it. *Bless her! And eventually after a few minutes, I managed to dig out at least 4-5 blobs of really hard stools.

I have to admit that this was probably the most disgusting thing I have ever done! I really wanted to vomit...due to the smell of the faeces...and just the thought of me, digging out faeces from a rectum. (I salute you fellow nurses/HCAs/cleaners)

The lovely patient was feeling so much more comfortable after all of that. She was able to sit comfortably on a chair as she didnt feel too impacted. All the nurses in the ward was laughing at me for having to do this manual evacuation...and the wise registrar said, "Well done. The only time you won't do a manual evacuation, is when you're a consultant! This is probably one of the MUST-DO when you're a junior doctor."

It was quite an experience....and I am glad that I've helped to make someone's life better!

hmm.....if only me fingers are bit longer.......

I don't have a straw!

I couldn't stop myself laughing today. I know, I know, it is not very professional and nice of me to laugh at my work colleague....but what he told me today was hilarious!

He will be working this weekend on-call. So I said, "You have the short straw eh?"

He replied," What straw? I don't have a straw."

I was like huh?!

"I meant you are the unfortunate one that has to work this weekend," I told him.

He, then burst out laughing, and so did I. haha.

He said, "I didn't understand what you mean by straw. Guess it is just the way you say things here."

I wonder....

I wonder sometimes whether I am being ignorant, or, the nurses just don't pay any attention.

hmm...

An elderly lady has been admitted with severe heart failure. She has longstanding bilateral leg oedema for the past 5 years, and as a result she has suffered from a degree of venous eczema. Both her lower legs have looked red for years. She has been a patient of that ward for 2 to 3 weeks now, and the same nurse has been looking after her for the past 7 days.

Now, this evening, I got a worried phone call from her. She was concerned about these red legs which she has never seen before. So I went on to review it. The legs were as red as they were when we looked at it many weeks ago. There are not hot or tender. There are unchanged. The patient herself did not notice any change the in the condition of her legs either.

So I reassured the nurse that there isn't anything to worry about at the moment. I've also explained to her that she has venous eczema. The nurse said, "oh really? I've never seen her legs like this before....it is new." I replied, "well, I have been looking after her, and I am 100% sure that her legs have been like that for many weeks now."

I can only conclude that she hasn't seen those legs while looking after the patient. Or, she was just not paying attention during the ward round, because, we examine her every day, and expose her legs every day....so how could you not have noticed that?

I dunno.

GGGggrrrr

*GGRRrrr

The year of the tiger should start with a bang. The tiger is a fierce and ferocious animal. So I believe that I should begin it with something grand. Unfortunately, there isn't anything exciting in my life at present.

1st of January 2010 went on like any other day. In fact, it was strange having to countdown in the hospital. I had to do the night on call then, and the nurses, and my fellow colleagues, turned on the telly for awhile just to catch the live telecast of the fireworks display in London.

And look at how first time flew by. It is February already.

Well, if I can't start the year like the way the tiger pounces on its prey, then, I should end the Ox year with a few resolutions.

My new year resolution is to pass all the exams I am attempting. I really need to, if I am thinking of entering into the specialty of my choice in a year and a half. I seriously can't afford to fail any.....moreover, these silly exams are so bloody $$$ anyway.

My second resolution is to plan and go on a cycling holiday break during Summer. I have always wanted to visit a place in Europe that would allow me to do cycle around the streets, and doing some tourisy things at the same time. I've heard that Amsterdam and Italy are good places for this activity. So hopefully, if all go as planned, I might be able to do that this year!

And finally, I would like to save enough money to get me-self an iphone! haha. yes...what a treat eh? I have 10 reasons for wanting one, but one reason not to....and that is because I find the current package deals wee bit pricey. So, if I save enough, I won't feel the pinch, no?

So listen, I will try to update my blog more often (I know I have neglected it for quite a few months now). And, I will give myself a huge pat on the back if I do fulfil these resolutions. Till then, Happy Tiger Year everyone.

Too early?

Is there such a rule that states a person should not put up a christmas tree in the house 4 weeks before christmas day?

Well I hope not!

Because I just set mine up a few days ago! =)

hehe...I have been looking for the so-called "perfect" tree a few weeks ago...well, to be honest, ever since I saw christmas decos in the shopping malls. I thought about getting a nice lovely black tree, rather than the traditional green one.

So I went hunting, you know, whenever I went out for a little shopping spree. Finally, I found the perfect tree! I am sure everyone would agree that you can get almost anything from Argos. Yeap, I stopped by Argos last weekend, and looked through their christmas catalogue.....and hold and behold, I saw a tree that I liked.

It was a 6 foot tall ash black xmas tree.....the fact that it was discounted, made it even more attractive. So I purchased it without much thoughts. I also bought new white LED lights to match it.

When I got home, I could not wait to put it up.... (I know, it is pretty pathetic). To be honest, I am sucker for things like this. I like to see nice little things in the flat, I like to feel all christmassy....I mean, it is only once a year...so I might as well enjoy it to the max. hehe.

Anywho, with some help from Kevin, my brand new tree is all set up! There are a mix of red, gold and purple baubles. It looks absolutely lovely! It is so therapeutic just looking at it, especially when the white lights flash around. I actually look forward to turning on the lights when I get home from a tiring day at work. All I need now is to get a few christmas pressies to put under the tree.

It is amazing how simple things in life can just make it so much more colourful.

30 days and counting down to Xmas..... =P

Doubting Myself

I just completed a set of night shifts. I was really frustrated last night...because of A nurse in this haematology/oncology ward. I am happy if she wanna tell me what to do...but to say that she's not happy with my instructions until i speak to the consultant? now....does she think i'm rubbish? or what?

There was a very sick young boy last night. I told her I was going to check his blood gases (ie, to check the oxygen level in his body). And this nurse said, "Oooh...no...you cant do blood gases. It's not appropriate in these patients...we do not do blood gases in this ward."

I was like what? How can you say that? How do you know its appropriate or not? It isn't very helpful to say such a thing especially when somebody is so ill. Blood gases are indicated if a patient is extremely short of breath, and is not able to maintain his own oxygen saturations such as this poor sick boy.

So then, I thought, right, maybe I'm not doing it right....I doubted myself...which was so silly of me. Anyhow, I contacted the consultant to inform him about this ill patient, just to inform that about what I have done so far and if he has anything else to add. He also advised me to check his blood gas....

Later, she refused to give this poor gentleman paracetamol until I speak to the consultant first?! Now....i think that's just taking the mickey. Apparently this man has been sneaking some paracetamol of his own, and has been told against doing so. But that story was a good 3 days old. If worried about an accidental overdose, his LFTs and coagulation screen would be off by now. But they aren't. His temperature has been sky high all day and night...clearly he hasn't taken any! She said she's not happy to give him paracetamol, unless the consultant gives the heads up. Luckily it was nearly 7 in the morning when this incident happened...and I didn't feel too guilty contacting the consultant. Imagine, making the phone call at 3 am???

We were all trying to work in the patient's best interest, but I didn't understand why it didn't feel that way.

Would You Like An Eye Opener?

It was 8.30 am in the morning. I was on-call overnight, and was just trying to get things ready for the morning ward round.

While looking up a patient's blood results, a heard a patient calling me.

"Doctor, doctor, can I go home?" said patient G.

I turned around to see who that was...and soon realised that patient G was admitted overnight with an impulsive overdose of his epilepsy medications. He was drowsy initially, but he had obviously improved.

"No, not yet. The consultant needs to review you first."

"Oh ok. Errm, can I get a bottle of vodka please?" asked Patient G.

"Errmm...no. This is a hospital. You can't get vodka in here. Would you like a cup of tea instead?" I replied.

"No doctor, you don't understand. I need my vodka. I normally drink some first thing in the morning," added patient G.

It was very unprofessional of me to chuckle to myself after he went back to his bed. But, I found him really amusing, because he was really honest about needing an alcoholic fix.

This is a classic patient we normally see in the hospital. He clearly has an issue with alcohol dependence....and he would score a point with the CAGE questionaire, for needing "an eye opener" to steady his nerves in the morning. With the help of a nurse, we managed to sit him down, and offered him chlordiazepoxide instead. Unfortunately, it didn't work very well...and he started to pace up and down the ward. We had to give hime some benzoes to calm him down before the consultant finally discharged him home.

Unexpected!

All of us at work were really shocked to learn that one of our patients, XX, collapsed and died the morning after XX's hospital discharge.

XX has been in the hospital for nearly one month. XX was diagnosed with multiple PEs. We had organised various investigations to find a cause for her multiple PEs, as she was very young. All investigations were negative. As XX was clinically better, we discharged her, with follow up arrangements.

Who would have expected XX to die the next day?

No one.

Maybe it was purely coincidental. Maybe XX was going to collapse the next day, and it could have happened in the hospital, where we could all jump on her chest and start resuscitation. But somehow, one could not help but wonder whether we have all missed something, or under-investigated her.

RIP.

Please Give Me a Chance to Speak!

Oh dear....this job is really emotionally challenging at times.

Today, I spent 1 hour on the telephone just trying to explain to an extremely dissatisfied, and misinformed daughter of a patient about her father's care.

I mean it is alright if she does not have a clue about medicine, or she has no idea about what tests we are doing to investigate the cause of her father's initial presentation.

But what I really could not understand was how could someone not even attempt to listen to what I have to say! I mean, come on, no matter how unhappy you are about any part of the care, just please, give me a chance to explain and provide you with more information.

She was extremely unpleasant to me over the phone, which, is fine, I mean, I can tolerate that. However, whenever I tried to say something to explain the situation, she just spoke over me.

She felt that catheterising her dad, who came in with acute urinary retention: "appalling."

The fact that we were not able to perform a 24 hour Holter because her dad was uncooperative (ie, kept pulling it off his body): She thought we were not doing anything.

She did not believe me when I told her that her dad was very confused and agitated. She said it was all because of the sedative meds we gave him. Ok, yes, we sedated him alittle because he was at danger of harming himself by trying to tug at different things.....But, the fact that the reason he was acting like that was due to underlying sepsis has been absolutely pushed away by her!

I dunno. I really felt like giving up at the end of the conversation. She was not listening to what I have to say, and I felt that there was not much point in even explaining things. I just wish, sometimes, people would just listen first, before jumping into any conclusions.

8 weeks into the job....and?

It has been just over 2 months since I've moved onto a new job. It is really strange, i know, but somehow, I miss the lack of staffing levels in my previous hospital, miss my old work colleagues, and miss all the banter.

I have been asked the same questions a few times over the past couple of weeks.

"So how do you find your new job?"

And my reply would be, "Its alrite."

Funnily enough, the person would say, "Why? You don't enjoy working here?"

hmm... I think using the pharse "not enjoying" is incorrect. In fact, I do like it here. I mean, I have a registrar who I can turn to, the consultants are so friendly, and almost everyone I have met so far has been extremely pleasant (apart from the odd few people).

I guess, most people think that working in this hospital is like a dream! Probably because it is a very big district hospital, with almost every specialty under the sun. But working in such a big space, means you dun get to know everyone well. I used to recall knowing all my fellow SHOs, which nurse is dating who, or what scandals there are amongst us doctors, but now, there is no such bonding. In fact, there is hardly anytime for that.

Everyone is just busy with their own jobs.

That aside, the job has been pretty hectic, and just like every other hospital, we are short of doctors!